The President Meets The Mole People
He saw the world as a stage, he its star. The new President went to the United Nations and, wanting to impress everyone, told the nations they were all losers. He said the U.N. was corrupt, he was giving it far less money. It was a proud moment for the President, telling other nations they were corrupt. Some of what he said was even true, in its way.
The next week the Mole People burrowed up from underneath the nation. The President could stop them, he could not build a border wall on the ground. The Mole People stated it was time to climb to the surface and get work, maybe in mines or the service industry and on farms. The Mole People were eager to work and send some of their earnings back home.
The President was in a quandary. He was not certain where he could deport the Mole People. Worse, the service and agriculture industries said they desperately needed Mole People to replace deported immigrants. The President decided he had to meet a Mole Person, so he invited several to his office. Over diet cokes, the Mole People convinced the President that life underground was wonderful–they only surfaced for the work.
In fact, they were encouraged by outraged U.N. delegates to finally emerge from underground—of the President’s nation. Impressed by the descriptions of underground life, the President declared a national emergency and forced all the citizens to move underground. Now they lived in the Mole Peoples’ abandoned cities and the Mole People lived on the surface. Living underground was barely bearable (it was dark and the only food was mold.) The Mole People discovered cheeseburgers (and restored U.N. funding.)