Low Hanging Fruit
These were tough times for Milton, a satirist. Real life had been replaced events wilder—stupider–than anything Milton could imagine. It was like living in a bad novel that tried to be satiric and imaginative but was too weird to be believable. Current events were dominated by low hanging fruit, for a satirist. And the low hanging fruit was becoming a serious problem for Milton.
The low hanging fruit? The new President. Determined to establish his place in history, he used the military to kidnap the leader of a foreign country he did not like. That certainly established his place in history. Then he started a war and bombed a Mideast country for weeks to demonstrate his power. The nation survived and closed a critical waterway through which 20% of the world’s oil and liquified natural gas flowed, disrupting the world energy market, the war continued despite the President “obliterating” the nation. . On Earth, he cut social services, health care and research into anything not military. He pushed the creation of a new superclass fleet of battleships and missiles which could be fired from satellites in space, with plans to build a military base on the moon.
That was a lot. In only a year. For Milton, a satirist, it was enough for three novels. Or 148 blog posts.
For a satirist, it was irresistible. Milton ate so much low hanging fruit he gained thirty pounds. He tried Ozempic but the lure of the low hanging fruit was stronger than drugs. Milton began to pray that the upcoming midterm elections would damage the President, stop the crazy. Instead, he gained ten pounds.
Milton knew his problem was that he was not a very good satirist. Better satirists avoid low hanging fruit. But the new President’s actions and Milton’s lack of talent had forced Milton into obesity.
Chastened, Milton abandoned satire and started a romance novel.