Martin Hears The Truth From Ratings
Martin decided the only way to stop the new President was to make a deal with a greater power. He knew who the Greater Powers were. He had to stop the new President, who ordered killing people in speedboats, troops in the streets, dividing the nation between the ‘with us’ and ‘without us,’ overseeing the weakening of health care while increasing pollution. Martin believed that only divine intervention could succeed.
Martin first approached God, Who came to him in his living room as a flaming TV. “I know you work in strange and mysterious ways,” Martin said to God, “but you must do something about the new President. He has broken all of your Commandments.”
“Indeed he has, and it worries Me.”
“Can’t you do something?”
“He has grown too powerful.”
Martin then contacted the Devil, who promptly appeared in Martin’s living room as a glowing TV showing the news. When Martin offered his soul in exchange for doing something with the new President, the Devil replied he had already made a deal with the new President (that was how he was elected.) The Devil refused to back out of it (ethics.)
Martin had a sole alternative: Ratings.
Ratings was a new God, created during early radio, growing with television, then the internet. Martin called out and Ratings materialized in front of him (as a TV with commercials.) She smoked a cigar, looked at Martin and blew a smoke ring around him. “You have spoken with God and the Devil,” Ratings told him, “so I’ll give it a shot. Not that their ratings are top drawer these days. They don’t matter much anymore, do they–compared with Me?”
Martin found it hard to argue with that. “Okay but can you get rid of the new President, without hurting him of course?”
“Why? He is a gold mine. I am more powerful than ever. I mean more to people now than God or the Devil. Say hello to my new Demi God, Popular.”