Ivan’s Better Robots

Ivan worried the robots in his life were not better.  His dishwasher could be larger.  His robot vacuum had trouble with rugs.  His automatic interior house lighting confused very cloudy for evening, making the house lights too bright.  His sex doll made unpleasant noises when lubricating. 

Ivan apparently had the best robots available.  If he could not purchase better, Ivan thought the solution was: more.  He had invested in crypto, then turned it into real money.  So Ivan purchased a larger dishwasher, which meant expanding the counter and enlarging the kitchen.  He bought a carpet cleaning robot, which required a special charging station in the living room.  He adjusted the light settings so it was never too bright. 

He bought two more sex dolls. 

He loved the new cooking robot, which ordered his food and then prepared it perfectly, except kale and seafood, which apparently it disliked.  The dishwashers were particular about which dirty dishes were placed in which dishwasher, which led to regular meetings between them and the kitchen cleaning robot.  Ivan enjoyed his easier new life until the massive power outage. 

Drones and hackers from the enemy attacked the national power grid.  The ongoing war was always annoying, now it hit home, with no power in his city for weeks.  Carl’s robots’ batteries slowly died.  Within a week, none of them functioned, becoming lifeless hunks of metal and plastic and wires.  Eventually, when the sink was full, Ivan began to wash dishes by hand.  He got the old vacuum from the closet, took out the garbage himself.    

At first Ivan hated having to maintain his life space.  After a couple of weeks, however, he accepted it as a zen experience–maintaining his own life. 

When power was restored, Ivan got rid of the robot vacuums and dishwashers, simplifying his life.  His robots had corrupted him.  He felt better, looking after himself.  He had changed his life and thought of protesting the war.

He kept the sex dolls.